A CAMERA crew for the Jerry Springer show has been found loitering behind the stage during Bill Shorten's "Advance Australia" opening speech.
The crew originally denied any involvement with the US show, or that they were even standing there but were forced to admit their connection when Senator Stephen Conroy began snooping through their bags.
Crew leader Mark Asredd said the team had gained entry "by completely legitimate means and had at no point violated their visa or parole restrictions."
"The last thing we want is to start a commotion among the crowd and film the life-destroying embarrassment of those on stage.
"It would appear the ABC has that bit covered."
Security reminded the group to remain quiet while Mr Asredd's press credentials were checked, as the sound of Shayne Nuemann's grinding teeth could be heard over the applause for Mr Shorten.
Once it had been verified that Asredd and his crew all carried valid press credentials, they were ushered into a small room with Senator Doug Cameron to be sure they were properly "unionised".
The anticipated stoush between Mr Shorten and Anthony Albanese is unlikely to take place as party officials were forewarned by five television networks, 32 newspapers, eight social media sites and Chris Pyne pretending to be a waiter at a Chinese restaurant.
Senator Kim Carr reportedly attempted to block their entry to the conference but failed and the crew was elected as the MP for Lalor.
The moral outrage against moral outrage workshop scheduled for next Wednesday has been moved online.
Frisky Business is a satire column. It is not real.
Update your news preferences and get the latest news delivered to your inbox.